Listed above: more items I’ve added to the shop in the last week or so.
I have been a lazy blogger lately…very uninspired. I know part of it is just being busy, the other part of it is a dwindling interest in my hobbies as a result of focusing on deeper issues in my life right now. That sounds so melodramatic but it’s true. ( I’ve never made this a deeply personal blog but sometimes one just has to vent.) I just have so many things weighing on my heart right now that it’s hard to carry on with the everyday things I’ve always done, even the things I enjoy. I have my eyes on the horizon, looking ahead to a happy ending that may or may not come.
I’ve been on this roller coaster of emotions, this unpredictable things I am calling my “fertility journey”, and I’m getting weary of the ride. I feel tired, pessimistic, and scared. I want to feel hope but every time I allow myself that luxury, I get let down. Every time I make a plan, that plan gets torn in two by some unforeseen twist of fate. It’s getting pretty hard to smile in the face of the storm. I want to carry on being me, I want to be happy anyways, I want to go on enjoying the things I used to enjoy despite the empty space in my heart. So I will force myself to keep on blogging, even if it’s just pictures of stuff I bought or listed on Etsy. I will continue to bury myself in the everyday mundane. I will continue to smile even when I know I must look like Wednesday Adams when she tried smiling for the first time ever. I will keep myself busy. I don’t know what else to do.