I feel like the character Mrs. Bennet from Pride & Prejudice today-a bundle of nerves. I’m up one minute, down the next. I woke up disoriented this morning, confused as to why my alarm hadn’t gone off. It took me a minute to realize it was my day off. I felt strange and listless, like something was just…off.
I spent the morning watching too much TV in bed with my dogs and drinking too much coffee. I felt those dreadful little waves of anxiety that sometimes wash over me, especially around certain times of the month. I tried to busy myself with housework and making things to eat. I lit candles, played music, and made pita chips and guacamole, pesto to freeze, and cappuccino chocolate chip ice cream. I started a pot of ham and beans for dinner and took a long, relaxing shower.
The house was full of wonderful smells, I didn’t spend any money on crap I don’t need, and yet I felt like there was something I should be doing. I felt restless and nervous. Later, I got some disappointing news concerning a family member that was disturbing to me yet I had the weirdest urge to laugh. My mouth was twitching in an effort not to smile even though inside I felt just awful. It’s almost 7 pm and I feel a little better. I drank some Sleepytime tea and that helped. I was going to post my recipe for watermelon margaritas but this post happened instead. Guess I’m just keepin it real.